Growing up in the church in the ’80s and ’90s, I do not recall hearing a single mention of pornography from the pulpit, in youth group, or at youth retreats. And I attended a lot of church and youth events. The reality is that porn just wasn’t something most Christians were talking about.
Of course, those were the “olden days” before porn was available 24/7 to anyone with access to the internet. Back then it was harder to find porn, and accidental exposure for kids and teens was far less likely than it is now. So we can understand why the problem of porn was often ignored. But forty years later, our trouble is that much of the church is still ignoring it. Hardly anyone in the church space is willing to talk about pornography, and the consequences have been devastating.
Multiple times a week I hear from Christians who are experiencing the damaging and sometimes disastrous impact of porn on their families and marriages. “I don’t know who else I can talk to about this,” they tell me again and again. The church should be their first call for comfort and help in these moments of crisis, yet they don’t turn to their church because shame or a lack of resources hold them back.
According to a 2024 study by Barna and Pure Desire ministries, only 9 percent of Christian pastors say their church has a ministry program for people struggling with porn. This means most churches have nothing in place to help individuals, married partners, or parents when pornography use is admitted or discovered. This is a tremendous loss. Consider the words of Dr. Juli Slattery and imagine your church being the one offering living water to the sexually broken: “People are looking for help for their addictions and hope for their broken hearts. They want living water. If we run away or become judgmental or uncomfortable any time we see sexual pain, we will miss the greatest opportunities to enter the pain of their sexual brokenness and share the love of Jesus Christ.”
While it is vital that churches have something in place for the crisis moment when porn use becomes a big problem in a person’s life, it is equally important for churches to be preventative when it comes to porn use and not only reactionary. Having resources on hand like the new book It’s Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn is one way churches can take this preventative approach. This book equips parents, and anyone who interacts with kids and youth, to tell kids the truth about porn and the harm it causes while also sharing the truth about God’s good plan for sex.
Stocking It’s Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn in your church library or church office for anyone looking for help in an emergency moment is a powerful way to help your community. But also imagine building a community that is equipped to really talk about porn in healthy, non-shaming ways. Imagine youth group leaders who are prepared to offer more than prayer when one of their students comes to them with a confession about porn use. Imagine small groups reading this book and helping the next generation of kids be prepared to reject pornography. Imagine that instead of ignoring the plague of pornography because it is uncomfortable, painful, and overwhelming, churches face this challenge with grace, compassion, and hope. That’s what It’s Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn offers.
For many years the church has not usually dealt effectively with the problem of porn. But now is the time to make changes. It’s time to help those impacted by porn find healing. It’s time to equip parents, youth leaders, and pastors with the tools they need to protect kids from porn. These things all start with a conversation. It’s time to talk about porn.