Is loneliness unavoidable?
Loneliness is not your destiny as a man.
Beyond the verifiable emotional and physical benefits of friendship and community, you need to know that were created for community. You were designed for friendship.
Think of Jesus—he had a band of brothers and constantly reached out to sinners and tax collectors (the shamed of the day), fishermen (the blue-collar workers of the day; Matthew 4:19), and even the religious elite, such as Nicodemus. And he became friends with those men by being in a place, by engaging in his everyday normal life, not just passing through.
Do you have space for those kinds of relationships? Are you making space? You will have to fight if you want to build deep, meaningful relationships in today’s world. We are discipled by community and in a community. Jesus called individual men, but he called them into a group. They became part of something greater and bigger. He made a team out of a bunch of individuals. He is still calling men together today—are you listening to the call?
If you’re numbed by loneliness and wondering what happened to the deep, rich friendships you experienced earlier in life, ask yourself, Did I try to coast on the fumes of those earlier seasons of community?
If Jesus’ example of prioritizing friendship and real human connections while he was walking around on earth isn’t enough, check this out: God himself is relational. We don’t need to get into all the details of Trinitarian theology here. But let’s just say that the very possibility of friendship—with one another and with God—all starts with the fact that God himself is a communion of persons. He is relational—Father, Son, and Spirit—eternally in a relationship of mutual love.
Part of what this means is that you are not alone. The Trinity is communal in nature, and you were created for and invited into that community. You are made in God’s image, and you can only be a faithful image bearer within a larger community.
So be present. Participate in your own life. Care about a place. The kingdom of heaven will be found there—and the shadow of loneliness will have no power over your heart.
Lord God, you have created me for deep, rich friendship, first with you, and then with others. Thank you for making me for connection. Amen.