By Barb Roose
Have words ever flown out of your mouth before you could catch them? It happens. However, if it happens often, you may have an unfortunate case of FIM, also known as Foot-in-mouth Syndrome. It’s characterized by frequent apologies, face palms, and mumbling under your breath, “Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut?”
I’ve been there, too.
Our mouths can get us into trouble fast. Perhaps this is why the Bible has over 100 verses with the words, “tongue” or “mouth” in them about how we speak. Looks like God knew we’d need help with our words.
Jesus’s brother, James, wrote one of the standout teachings on how to use our words in a way that brings glory to God, benefi ts others, and blesses us. This ancient writer would have seen how Jesus used his words, and perhaps Jesus’s life inspired James’s instruction:
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
—James 1:19 NLT
Which one is harder for you? Listening? Thinking before speaking? Reacting in anger too fast?
As a long-time leader, speaker, and author, I’ve had to recognize my quickness with words. If you’re a high-capacity or high energy, you might be quick, too. That’s not always good. We think fast and move even quicker, and our words can run people over before we can hear our minds yell, “Wait. Hear them out. Keep your mouth shut.”
Sure, we can walk back regretful or misinformed words with an apology, but we can’t ignore that relational damage has been done. Then, we beat ourselves up, hoping we haven’t compromised our testimony.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE IF YOUR TONGUE FEELS LESS SAVED THAN THE REST OF YOU AT TIMES.
Perhaps you don’t have Foot-in-mouth Syndrome, but you tend to be overly critical or nagging. Have friends and family told you that what you’ve said hurt them? If you haven’t reviewed your text messages in a while, take a look. Are your words reflective of James 1:19—quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry? If not, I’m glad you’re here!
THREE PRAYERS TO CURE FOOT-IN-MOUTH SYNDROME
Lucky for us, when we willingly give over our mouths and words to the Holy Spirit, we will experience His power transforming our words (Romans 12:2). Prayer is the act of surrendering our mouths and words to God, allowing Him to do what we cannot do for ourselves.
In Luke’s gospel record of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “What you say fl ows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45). If you need a starting point on your journey, begin with taking a screenshot of these three prayers and offer them to God before making a tense phone call, taking a meeting with a difficult co-worker, or before replying to a text.
PRAYER #1: God, Please Change the Heart Behind My Words
During my childhood, the pastor led us in this prayer at my little Black Baptist Church at the end of Sunday service:
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.—Psalm 19:14 NLT
This is the prayer that gives permission to God’s Spirit to change the heart behind our words.
PRAYER #2: God, Give Me Kind Words...
Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.—Proverbs 16:24 NLT
During a family crisis years ago, I wrote this verse down on a notecard and studied it. Kind words don’t always mean sugarcoated, sweet words. As a Fruit of the Spirit, kindness is a
pleasant outward disposition toward others. Jesus didn’t avoid hard conversations or truth, but his words passed through the kindness filter before leaving his mouth. Isn’t that what we want?
On the back of my notecard, I turned Proverbs 16:24 into a prayer. I challenged myself to pray this each day for a year:
God, give me kind words, a kind heart, and a kind attitude. Amen.
During that year, God’s Spirit slowed me down and dropped that verse as a reminder to filter my words through kindness before they came out of my mouth, even during intense times.
PRAYER #3: God, I Need to Forgive so My Wounds Won’t Poison My Words
One of the fastest ways to say something you regret is to speak when you’re hurt or angry.
When we’re hurting or angry, our fi ght-or-fl ight system is in full gear; thereby, we’re not working with full access to our rational brain. Until we turn down the flames of our pain and anger, we will speak from our hurt and anger. Yes, we should be honest about
how we’ve been hurt or wronged, but we’re also warned to not sin in our anger (Ephesians 4:26).
Built into Jesus’s teaching in the Lord’s Prayer is a reminder for us to examine our hearts and release our bitterness and the desire for revenge.
And forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.—Matthew 6:12 NLT
Unforgiveness stored inside us will come out of us in toxic words and ways. Such a tragedy to add sinning in anger atop our suffering! Therefore, Jesus’s prayer is a proactive way for us to detox from the inside out so our words can’t heap more harm on
top of our hurt.
Prayer is powerful! Which prayer resonates most with you?
Now, more than ever, we need to speak life-giving words to those around us. When we do, we’ll see God’s glory shine brightly as we speak, and others will be blessed by our presence.
BARB ROOSE is a Bible teacher who loves following God more than anything else in life. Barb makes God's Word come alive through powerful teaching, personal stories, and practical next steps. She's the author of multiple Bible studies and has served on staff at CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg, Ohio, for fourteen years on the executive leadership and teaching teams.
In Matthew: Pray Like This, a six-week Bible study of the Gospel of Matthew, Bible teacher Barb Roose takes a deep dive with you into Jesus’s prayer patterns. When you pray like Jesus, you will learn more about God's character and His eternal plan and purpose for you. Along the way you'll learn that prayer is the place where God meets you with His heart set on conversation and time spend with you.