by Trey Tucker
Young men are showing up to church again. Some skeptical. Some searching. All of them hungry for something of substance. As a therapist who works primarily with men in their 20s, I'm seeing that they're ready to be formed and mentored. What they're wrestling with is real: the American Psychological Association reports that young men ages 18 to 29 show increasing rates of "purpose anxiety," not just general anxiety, but specifically around life direction.
Here's what I'm learning about how to disciple them well.
• They Don't Want to Be Treated as Fragile. They Want to Be Formed.
Gen Z men grew up fluent in emotional language, but many are asking something more foundational: What's worth giving myself to? They don't want every hardship interpreted as damage. They want tools to handle hard things.
If we focus only on processing feelings and neglect formation, we'll miss them. Talk about resilience. Teach discipline. Model courage under pressure. Formation earns trust.
• Call Them to Something Worth Sacrificing For
Gen Z men have tried the party life, followed charismatic leaders, chased achievement and realized it left them empty.
They don't want endless discussion detached from mission. Preach Christ not only as comforter, but as King. Invite them into service that costs something. Give them responsibility that stretches them.
Young men rise when there's something worth sacrificing for.
• Father Them and Show Them Who They Are
Many Gen Z men didn't grow up with consistent, present fathering. Even those who had good dads are navigating a culture that constantly questions what it means to be a man.
They need older men who will look them in the eye and say: “You're capable. You're needed. You're called.” This doesn't happen in a program. It happens over meals, in margin, when they see how you live out your purpose daily.
Most importantly, before you hand them strategy, hand them identity. When a young man knows who he is, he can carry weight without collapsing.
• Build Challenge Into Discipleship
This generation grew up consuming content. They don't need more passive intake. They need engagement.
Let them organize events, mentor younger guys, serve in ways that stretch them.
When discipleship costs something and builds something, they lean in.
HOW TO USE TOUGH ENOUGH
Tough Enough was written as a practical guide for young men learning to build the habits, purpose, and genuine strength needed to flourish in life. Here are practical ways to implement it in your church:
Young Men's Discipleship Cohort: Create a six to eight week intensive focused on resilience, discipline, identity, and mission.
Mentorship Framework: Pair older men with younger men and use each chapter as a guide for structured, honest conversations about strength, fear, and calling.
Senior and College Transition Groups: Use it with high school seniors or college students stepping into adult responsibility.
Leadership Development Path: Incorporate it into an emerging leaders track for young men who show initiative and hunger for growth.
Pick up your copy of Tough Enough today to hone Your habits, cultivate purpose, and forge genuine strength.