Free Download - Two Equals One Discussion Guide
Have you ever looked around and felt overwhelmed at the brokenness in our world? Like you don’t even know where to start?
Honestly, statistics only reinforce this brokenness, showing that nearly half of all people grow up in a divorced home where 90 percent of children are raised by a single parent. This doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of the traumas that occur because of a simple lack: the lack of a healthy relationship model.
If we’ve learned anything on our journey, it’s that the emotional intelligence necessary to build healthy relationships starts in the home. The love that we as human beings crave, that we need, is meant to be modeled by our parents in marriage. The Bible shows us this kind of love—the kind where two become one—but most of us did not have this example growing up. In fact, for many, home wasn’t a safe place, and their parental model was anything but healthy.
This leads to difficulty building bonds with others—if you can’t feel safe with the people you live with, how can you possibly feel safe with those outside of your family?
We’ve all heard Matthew 22:39, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
If you’re like us reading this verse, you may get a little convicted thinking about the last time you actually talked to, or even said hi to a neighbor! Although that’s part of it, the tail end of this verse has a twist—did you catch it? Jesus isn’t promoting narcissism, but He does say to “love your neighbor as yourself.”
One of the reasons that we’ve found people avoid fully committing and opening up in relationships is that they aren’t doing very well at loving themselves or seeing value in themselves. Do you love yourself? Do you own the fact that self-esteem is a continuum? We aren’t always going to be on a mountaintop, we’re going to have ups and downs, but part of being emotionally healthy is self-care. The thing about self-care is that you have to recognize your own worth before you care. Self-care involves physical, emotional, and spiritual health. And self-perception is vital for all three. Two emotionally healthy individuals who are whole and healed create an equation for a marriage made one.
Remember how we said that it starts in the home? The way we experience love—that honest, vulnerable, accepting of our flaws kind of love—is supposed to be modeled in our formative years. For most of us, this isn’t the case, which has left a void in our self-worth. And voids are the enemy’s favorite foothold.
Throughout our combined half a century in ministry, what we’ve found is that rebuilding healthy marriages leads to healthy families, and healthy families love others out of an overflow. However, such a rebuild requires a holistic approach. Two Equals One doesn’t just help people stick it out or put up with each other! We actually coach members on how to work together to help each other heal and become the best version of themselves. It’s a transformation that can only happen when we put the love of God into practice.
Two Equals One is all about teaching couples how to experience that kind of love so that they can build a marriage that exemplifies Scripture! As couples model this love in their marriages, families have the opportunity to be united and to heal together, creating new patterns of health for future generations. When families are healthy, they impact their community for the better.
What we bring to churches—whether the leadership or the congregation—is a way to live out God’s redemptive love in the brokenness that would otherwise overwhelm. Through vulnerably sharing our story, we are able to illustrate the application of countless hours of counseling. This means that when we partner with a church, we not only bring our testimony and life experience, we also bring proven tools and resources of therapy and recovery to help others walk out their own healing journey.
Our world is hurting, but our God is a healer. Two Equals One is a marriage movement, one that’s all about transforming communities and changing our world through the healing power of love!